How to Love A Soldier

[MAXIMUS ARES BLACK]

Coming back from the Army was one the hardest things in my life I had ever done. I took a life of pity on myself, wondering why the hell I had been saved when the rest of my troops lost their lives, and by extension, their families, not just those in the Army, there you have to be a family to work properly, but those they left behind at home to protect. And for whatever reason, I had lost touch and caring in regards to my family, I would have proffered losing my own life to let some of my troops the ability to go home to theirs. But no, I have to be the one to suffer along with their families. I had no one to go home to. So I settled in Newport Oregon, well the outskirts of it anyway. I didn’t want to be bothered, and coming home was not pleasant, anything and everything felt like it was setting me off, like I was back in the middle of gunfire.

I tried to calm myself, having Hercules with me as a constant companion helped, a fair bit at that. He was my rock, soon after other dogs joined him, and I had to have places for them, so I built wondrous pens for them to forever be happy, I couldn’t turn one away, not even those permanently scarred by fighting. Soon I had pups as well brought to me, and somehow as they got older, three remained in the house with Hercules and I, and over time two more were added, Nuke and Neema. They came named, and Nuke was certainly named appropriately, but then he was a pup, he was to be destructive, Neema was the sweetheart of the pair, and quite the opposites for siblings from the same litter.

Then don’t forget the bitch, the person that took my money and kept my fridge stocked with beer, and the cupboards with non perishables, and the chest full of meats. The one thing I always needed more than anything was my beer, and my pain killers, I couldn’t live without them. Only good she did was keep them stocked as I tried to mingle with citizen’s again. Even semi learned the chat, and would frequent it when I couldn’t sleep. That’s how I met Avestra, my Ves, my newest drug. I don’t know what it was about her that drew me in, but she drew me in and I couldn’t let go. And then talking in person with her, it was oddly calming admist the troublesome mall. I counted her a friend, and I found it oddly didn’t matter if she felt the same or not.

Then I reconnected with Dr. White who was serving the soldiers when I was injured. I have my moments, and I know on more than one occasion I snapped at her, and I know I never apologized to her, but I do hope she understands I never meant anything by it, over ten years in service for your country and then basically thrown to the wolves, didn’t do me any favors, so I have a bit of a reason to be an asshole, though I try not to be, it wasn’t the person I was raised to be, but then the Service changes you, and not always in the best ways. I had no right to get upset at Uriah, she had done nothing but save me. And then she saved Avestra, I don’t know what came over that woman, but to hear that my red headed friend thought she had nothing left, that really upset me. Of either of us, I was the one really with nothing left. People didn’t generally like me, I hated my life.

When she showed up in chat, I let loose on her. I called her on numerous things, why, hell, I still don’t know why I did it. Then I dared her, I fucking dared her to show up. What the hell was I thinking?!? Part of me wanted her to show up, part of me didn’t. And truth be told, I didn’t think she would, so when the dogs started going off, I was on edge, grabbing my pistol and went to the door. And what did I see? My red headed friend being ‘mugged’ by my dogs, and the way she looked, I swear I felt my heart breaking. I didn’t know what to do, but I knew I had to set down the pistol, forgetting to relatch the safety, catching me off guard, so many thoughts through my mind. First and foremost, I had just killed the first innocent person I would regret, but one look told me she was fine, along with the dogs out there with her. Then my mind shifted to Herc, myself last thing on my mind. But he was fine, and I kept myself so numb with the pain-killers, I wouldn’t have felt myself getting shot anyway. As I moved from her to then the last choice, myself, I noticed the fresh hole in the trailer, and literally face palmed. Yes. Face-palmed. Me, at thirty years old face palming. Obviously it was a funny gesture for I could have swore I heard Ves giggling, or trying not to as I turned to get her some much needed food.

Heating up the lasagna that had been brought over earlier by the bitch, and not being a fan of it, I ate enough to satisfy her, and debated on giving it to the dogs or tossing it, but now was glad I hadn’t as I started heating it up as Ves made her way inside. While she seemingly enjoyed the crap, I settled for some jerky, I could be classified as a picky eater, but when you have my troubles you would be as well. I can only eat when I’m hungry, if I try the consequences aren’t pretty. I knew I shouldn’t have, but I gave her some of my clothes to give her something clean to wear after a shower, and when she came out, seeing her petite frame in my well oversized ones, well, we’ll just say, it wasn’t the most comfortable of situations, and having a massive dog laying on top of it all didn’t help matters, but yet it did. Can’t blame him for his favorite laying spot at that time. And I managed to compose myself enough to help re-bandage her from her desire to hug some barbed wire. I seriously worry about this girl.

Things were good for a long time then, it wasn’t easy, but I managed to find a way to think of her like a sister and it helped, besides I tended to hide away, taking more to my own bedroom for sleep instead of the couch. Then she went to work and so I returned to my habit of lurking chat, and discovery of the disappearance of Ves. That. Pissed. Me. Off. And those words don’t even begin to describe my exact thoughts. I was beyond livid. If I didn’t know any better, I would swear it was a set up by Phillip Silveria. The fucker after all did somehow get ahold of my Military file. That did not make things set well with me either. But I agreed to help him, but only because of Avestra. Not because it was the right thing, but I had to get Ves back.

I got the files the next morning, the pier, I personally had not been there but he oddly had great pictures of the area, which again did not help my thoughts that this was a set up, a reason to use me. If not for Ves I would be telling Phillip where he could stick things, probably using my rifle to shove it up there, maybe even pull the trigger and watch him explode. But no, I couldn’t do that. I went to get changed to my gear, packing my rifle and pistol and with Herc at my side, made the long journey to the pier, leaving Herc where I knew he was safe and unseen and lowered myself to my own position. As I adjusted my scopes, all my training rushed back as I focused in on the girls on the boat. How I wanted to show my prowess with my rifle and take everyone out right then and there. But I knew I couldn’t, but it seemed to take forever for the moment to come.

The day slowly passed, I kept my scope trained on Ves for a good part of the day, I knew when Phillip arrived, hearing the car against the otherwise quiet pier. Then there was movement, my scope changing targets to the blond, the one I was to take out. I could only guess this was the one who violated my red head. I was going to take him out without knowing what the hell was going on. She was mine, no one else’s. Yes, I was protective, I was also falling for the red head, against probably any better judgments I had. But something told me to careless, and right now, my trigger finger was itching, pulling me from any thoughts as I watched the blond get closer to Phillip. I noticed nothing was verbally exchanged between the two, as I felt the trigger being pulled as they moved towards each other.

The bullet made its mark, sailing through the air, and I wasted no time in reloading and blasting away another bullet. Silencers are lovely things. Once the bullets were flying through the air, I returned my scope to the blond, and got a real nice view of the scrambling of brains. I would worry about the torment to Ves later, the asshole had to die. Seeing one falling limp, the other releasing the girls was when I moved, my body protesting every movement, but I had to. Ves needed me. But I knew I couldn’t get there fast enough, and I knew a comfort she would certainly find welcoming, speaking to Herc, I sent him down as I worked my way down. For a big dog, he could move and silently, I watched as he disappeared, bounding towards Ves as I had to work my way down a bit more carefully.

Finally reaching solid flat ground, I dispatched the spent rifle, I would clean it later, Ves was top priority now. I went to her, ignoring everyone around me as I took her in my arms, and releasing her when I was given the keys. Finally Phillip decided it was time to go, and I sure as fuck was not walking all the way back again, not with Ves as she was. So, I agreed for the ride to the hospital and then home again. I needed to have her looked at, and then home where it was safe. Once they were settled I retrieved my gun, and came back to a disagreement between Ves and Phillip. How easy it would have been to pull the pistol and put one right between his eyes. I knew the fucker had this planned now, and how I wanted to take him out, just as I had the blond. But I had tormented the two girls, my own eyes and mind tormented years ago. I’ve heard the service will do that to you.

Returning home, there wasn’t much to say, so we didn’t talk. But we both knew she was glad to be home. Things again returned to normal persay, not much happening but finding myself more and more addicted to Ves than ever. But of course, the lovely Bitch was still making her presence known, and hated the fact that I told her off on numerous occasions, and the fact that I didn’t need her as much and to back off. Well, I still don’t know how the hell she did it, and the fact she probably resorted to drugging my dogs, well, that doesn’t sit well, but she made off with Hercules. Two major no no’s to make, mess with Ves, the other, was to harm Hercules. And she had dared. As soon as I realized what happened, you can bet I was on the phone and getting my dog returned to me, and the bitch fired. I didn’t need her. All I needed was Ves, and of course my dogs.

Then there was also the damn doctors, how I hated them. After a ‘routine’ visit they felt I needed to start taking something else, along with half a ton of other shit that really did no good, but I said what the hell and gave it a shot. I took it, of course after checking that it was fine to chase it with a beer. But no sooner than it hit my stomach than was I hitting the floor, completely unaware of what happened. One second I was watching chat, the next I remember, I woke up in the hospital, much to my unhappiness. That was something I don’t want to experience again. That shit fucking hurt, you imagine over two hundred pounds dead weight hitting the floor.

That was certainly something I didn’t want to go through again, and thankfully I wasn’t there for a horribly long time, but I enjoyed going home. I had scotch waiting, and it had been awhile since I drank anything but beer, and it quickly became obvious as I damn near downed half a bottle in one shot. That made for an interesting night, and truth be told, lead to things I never would have thought. That was the first of a long run for us, and the details shall be kept me and myself. That was until it some how got mentioned to Avestra’s brother Andrus about our little actions. He didn’t take to well to the fact his sister had a lover much older than her I don’t think. Needless to say he and I got well into it. Which did not sit well with apparently either of us, for it forced us closer instead of farther.

During all this I was vaguely aware of this ‘person’ who called himself the Copycat, really was just some bullshit to me that I chose to just stay out of. I was at home when he decided to put things out with a bang as they say, which I was certainly thankful for. I didn’t need that relapse. But seeing the aftermath as we went to retrieve my sister, who was foolish enough to be in the way, and wound up with a busted arm. Had it not been for dealing with that, being in the misdt of helping would have been a priority to me, but then again, I still would have been in chance of a relapse. It was like a war zone in town. It just made me glad that I lived on the outskirts of town, out in the country, with my hundreds of dogs.

The next three months, hell I really don’t remember much of them, in the process of being healed from my surgery, I wound up catching pnemuenia and let me tell you, for the most part of three months that shit kicked my fucking ass. I barely remember most of it, save for when I got home to finish my suffering, feeling like I’m dying. Every mintute felt like my chest was collapsing, I couldn’t breath and trying to seriously cough up my lungs didn’t help at all. But once again, Avestra was still by my side, I don’t know how she honestly puts up with me, but then I am not going to complain, and I don’t think my sister will either. Ves is like a rock to me, as of course is Nix, but there’s one major difference in my rocks. I do believe, no, I am dead certain that I am completely and irrevocably in love with Avestra Tortega. Is it a fact I’m ready to announce to the world? No. My cold heart is not ready to admit it to anyone, let alone the world, and on that I am as serious as a heartattack.

WORDS: 2767 words long
TAGGED: No One.
OUTFIT: We'll leave that to the imagination
NOTES: Who ever would have guessed
LYRICS: Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace
CREDIT: CaeJae@caution2.0