Introreal 35mm - URIAH -

[URIAH WHITE]

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EXPERIENCE THE BEAUTIES OF NATURE,
and in doing so learn about yourself.
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<sup>Ever taken the time to sit back and look at your life in full? Don't just automatically nod, because you haven't. One thing you want to do at some point is really sit back and look at your life, look at where it's going and look at what you want to do when you're older. Well then again I've gone through enough shit to last me a life time and I'm sure it's not going to stop now. It's never going to stop because anything bad that's going to happen is going to happen to me, I got ran over by a freakin' tank out of the millions of people on the planet, so if it's going to happen then god will pick on me. I'm not a religious woman, I never have been.

Let's just back up for a second, okay? Let's just look at how I grew up. I grew up in a council estate in England, okay that doesn't sound so bad until you see just where, labelled Brandon where teenagers roam around day and night hollering out at anyone and anyone who will listen, smoke and do drugs on the corner, attack you simply for having a decent pair of shoe's but you see, even in that situation I was protected. I was Cain White's little sister, for the smaller groups that was enough protection. See although Cain wasn't the top dog in the estate he was still big enough that people thought twice about messing with us. I honestly don't know how I survived those first few years without stepping on a needle or something or other. I'm honestly surprised we never died. I know Tiere came close after a few thugs decided to close in on him walking back from school.

Tiere and I went to a typical local school full of Asian immigrants and racial tensions ran up more than high. I still remember being knocked down the stairs in Year 7 by a Year 11 going after a Year 10 Asian boy after he'd said something disrespectful. Well. I watched the entire fight to the side since I smacked the floor when and lay there, I knew better to get up. I'd rather be trod on than face a stray fist for any reason what so ever and people around us scattered away. People never got helped up when they fell down. Well eventually the teacher broke that up and Tiere and I were able to get to class. Classes weren't much better, I can't think of one in which a fight didn't break out either physical or verbal over something or other. Like I said.

Real tough area.

Out of school was no better either, mother and father fought quite a bit over money when he was even here. Tiere and I forced one another through school, we forced each other to concentrate and we forced one another to work towards what we wanted most of all. Out of that estate, out of the country. Eventually we got out wish. We saved up our pay, shipped out of Brandon and into London, scrounged our way into a hospital and we both stayed working there until privately contracted. He by the Japanese, and I by the US Army scouting for civilian doctors that our army had missed. I wanted out of the grimy little country. The moment that soldier held out his hand to me... I grabbed hold of it because I knew this could only lead on to great things.

Within three months of being shipped over to Iraq, our Jeep was crushed by an Iraqi tank, that knocked me out of action for quite a while but the moment I could, the moment I was better, I went back to work. I had to prove that this couldn't keep me down, I had to prove that - despite appearances - I could work, function and walk like a human being. My pelvis had been crushed, my right arm cracked in several places and a few ribs broken, organs damaged and legs left nerve damaged. I can still walk, but the left one has a habit of giving out without warning. I'm permanently bound to a cane and will be for the rest of my life, although I've been told it might lessen - my need for it - with age. I was always told that the likely hood of me ever having children was virtually zero, and that if I did then the pregnancy would be painful. The labor even more so. But I always decided that it was a chance that I'd take.

I worked there for three years, got caught once and held for about six weeks before being released. That fucked me up good. About two months before coming home that was when I had a certain Lieutenant General wind up on my table. He was a mess, and I seriously doubted he'd make it through the night but he did, with me sitting next to him all those hours in case he suddenly took a turn for the worse. He didn't though and he pulled through, we got him as stable as possible and med vacced back to the states where he was put into retirement and where he could live and spend the rest of his life how he wanted. Funny that, I treat him then he ends up dating my best female friend. But honestly I wish the best for them, Maximus went through more than any man should ever endure and honestly the two of them just look good together.

When he was sent home I finished my last two months and then went back to the children's hospital where I worked. Well, I worked in the children's ward but I call it the children's hospital because it's the only bit I know. I couldn't sleep, I could barely eat, the images of savaged limbs and dead bodies just.... Just everywhere I looked. I didn't even have to close my eyes to see it, just everywhere I look was violence and death... Sometimes even know I can taste the sand of the dunes and smell the metallic scent of blood even though I'm not back there. I didn't sink back into my memories, but I can hear and smell and taste. They're getting rarer these days, or I just learn to ignore them. Focus on something in the present like a picture or something. Tiere used to give me ice cubes, the intense cold kept me from going anywhere.

I didn't have to be directly fighting to be effected.

I met Incendio Cruz while working at the hospital, I was the Doctor assigned to his daughter. At first I thought nothing of the man, I barely even acknowledged him unless it had something to do directly with his daughter but then we got to talking, and the more we spoke the closer we got. Taking care of his little girl was always top priority. I was always Doctor White. I saw that man at his weakest, saw him cry but it was okay. In my eyes the strongest, truest men do cry because they're not afraid about being seen weak. If they cry around you, they trust you. This was just before Isa went in for surgery, I couldn't follow because I'm not a surgeon but I was there during his little crying fit and I hugged him and reassured him and did everything and anything I could just to make sure he knew that it was all okay. It would always be okay.

Tiere and I shared an apartment, we had ample money because we were both top doctors and we saved up in a joint account, but when he died all his funds came to me and me alone. He had no children, no wife. He died way, way to young. That didn't help things. It completely knocked me off my pedestal because... Tiere... Tiere was my twin, we did everything together. I completely lost track of my life for a good few weeks before eventually I had to go ahead and do what I always did, bury it deep and limp on without complaint or restraint. Minoru helped though, helped heavily, as did Incendio. The two men in my life that never ever deserted me. Even my older brother eventually did have to go back to England and leave me. Sammy was always busy but I know that he was there to. Especially at the funeral.

Everything was a blur after that, for a couple of months I simply went about like clock work. Then the bombings struck. I still remember pulling my son out of the rubble of the hospital ward and carrying him off the pile. I know Incendio was worried, by the amount of missed calls I had but he was okay and that was what kept me going. Poor little Isa though... She'd get better in time. Everyone would get better in time. I know Hlaine did, after sticking to my side like glue.

Sometimes it's just like I'm walking through life watching it unfold before me on a cinema screen, an old 35mm projection film, hazy, grainy. Unfocused. What... What the fuck am I doing. I've never shared this, but whatever... I would continue it, but Hlaine's got up. I'll finish it one day. Just... Not now. Time to stop staring out of the balcony doors and actually get up and do something.</sup>

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THE TALENTED HAWK
hides its claws
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tagged; Uriah Maria White
quotes; Japanese proverbs
listening to;Cry of Fear - Introreal by Cry of Fear cast
outfit; Home
credit; to brooke from caution