Post by KADENCE NATALIA HUNTINGTON on Aug 17, 2012 9:37:08 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] A DAY IN WHICH THE SUN WILL TAKE HER ARTIFICIAL LIGHT The Words: go here The Outfit: goes here The Notes go here You just got into another argument with your parents; the only ones that wanted to take you in after seeing you at the orphanage; the ones that gave you something to live for and encouraged you to grow into a strong willed adult. They’re the same parents that lost their baby boy 4 months ago so now they want to make sure they keep you alive. They become overbearing and protective—you want to leave. Can you leave? You could but you feel like you owe them too much to be able to do so. You’re being torn between moving on with your life and living with the one person you want to wake up next to every morning and staying with the people that gave you the opportunity to be able to even have this decision. What to do? How can you make a decision when your mother is constantly telling you that you can find better than him? How can you think when she tells you that the one person you’re so in love with isn’t good for you and your future? You look at her, a serious expression on your face, tears lightly slide down your fair cheeks and you lick the corner of your lip, the taste of the salty droplets saddening you. You don’t want to look weak in front of her. You begin to explain that this person you are so deeply in love with is your future. This person is the only one you want to live for. Your mother argues back and say you’re wasting your time and that you could find better; she compares him to the fine young men she finds suitable and you shake your head in disbelief; you’re unable to understand the way her mind works as opposed to your own. With the constant arguing and bickering you find yourself losing your patience –you losing patience is not something common- and you break. You let the anger and hurt out and you begin to snap at your mother –the only woman who ever gave you love. “I’m an adult!” You say loudly, taking a step forward, voice cracking from the constricting feeling in your throat, suffocating your means to communicate but you find the power to carry on. “I’m in love with him and we’re married whether you want to give us your blessing or not. I’m moving out and go ahead and try to stop me!” With your final words you stomp out of the room angrily and hurry up the grand staircase of your parent’s very expensive home. “BANG,” goes the door when you slam it shut, the sound of the lock clicking when you turn the lock on the knob. You lean against the door for a moment, immediate guilt beginning to spread through you. Maybe you shouldn’t have snapped at your mother in such a way? She was grieving; you knew that, maybe what you did was wrong? Your thoughts cease when you hear the blipping sound on your computer. You’ve forgotten that you were talking to your friends while you’ve been downstairs and you decide that letting yourself slip into the cyber world would be much better than having to deal with your feelings right now. Moving to sit on the side of your bed, you pull the laptop into your lap and scroll down to your messenger, a smile immediately spreading across your lips when you see the name of your lover pop up. They’re the only ones right now that can make you forget your worries and you remember what you’re trying to fight for as soon as you see their face next to their name. However, the conversation doesn’t last very long and your life signs out of the chat room leaving you dangling off a cliff. You remember that he’s a law enforcement agent and his sudden exit worries you yet you sit there and try to push your worries aside as you talk to his sister. Away goes his sisters online status and you begin to panic, cursing her for leaving you there with no information to calm your racing thoughts and put your worries to an end. She returns after minutes that seemed like hours and she’s at a loss for words. Normally you would be calm and try to calm her down but you become angry with her and urge her to tell you what’s gone wrong. Shot. Out of all the words she writes that’s the only word you can comprehend and understand. You feel the blood rush from your face and a sick feeling begins to form in the pit of your stomach. Your heart is racing and your mind goes blank, yet you’re still typing back, unable to comprehend your own written words. You close your computer and sit there for a moment to try and calm yourself down; you want to tell yourself that he’s fine and it’s going to be alright but you just end up shaking your head, your heart beings to race even faster and your hands start to shake uncontrollably. With a few deep breathes you manage to stand up and pick up you keys from your bedside table and quickly walk out of your room. Your mother hears your quick and rushed footsteps and she stands in front of the door to stop you, not noticing the urgency on your face when she says, “You’re not allowed to go to him.” In your state of mind you think she’s trying to stop you from seeing him at the hospital and you give her a look of disgust and shock before opening the door and leaving. You drive with a blind mind and don’t even know how fast you’re going. The only thing on your mind is his face, his smile, and the sound of a gunshot ringing through your head. You imagine him collapsed on the floor, blood draining from the wound in his body. You can even feel the warmth of the red fluid on your skin for a moment before you realize it’s your tears falling from your chin onto your chest. Somehow this begins to make you focus on the road and his voice rings in your head telling you to stop driving like a madwoman or you’re going to end up killing someone. You give a small smile but it quickly fades when you look to the passenger seat and find it empty, the fear of it always being empty makes the thought of losing him that much greater. You reach the hospital and park the car in an undesignated area but you don’t care right now. All you want to do is make sure that the man you’re in love with is alive. As you rush into the ER, the familiar smell hitting you in the face and you notice that you keep mumbling the same words over and over again, “Please don’t take him, please don’t take him,” and you begin to cry when you realize you’re begging an entity you never believed in to spare him. At this moment you pray and hope that someone is right by believing that there is a greater power that can save your loved one’s life. “Please don’t take him,” you say out loud, a nurse at the front desk looks at you and tries to calm you down. She asks you who you’re here for and all you can say to her through your tears is ”Don’t take him from me, please don’t take him.” She sits you down and gives you a cup of water while her hand rubs your back gently. You’re looking down at the floor, watching the glare from the overhead lights dance on the glossy surface and you’re still mumbling those same four words. The nurse urges you to drink some of the water and you do, realizing your mouth is as dry as sandpaper –the water doesn’t help. A doctor emerges from one of the rooms and walks up to the nurse, not noticing you’re there, “We keep losing him you might want to dig up any information you’re able to on his family members.” Kadi didn’t even have a chance to ask him a question before he disappeared again. You look to the nurse, praying she tells you it wasn’t him the doctor was talking about but all she does is give you a sad look and you know. Your stomach flips and you can feel your heart being ripped apart in your chest. You try to take in a breath but you feel like you’re being choked; suffocated, you hang your head, covering your mouth with your hands as you begin to cry. You’re shaking and struggling to breathe through the strong and uncontrollable pain you’re experiencing. You think to yourself, “I’ll just give him my heart,” like it was the easiest decision you could ever make but your mind shifts again and it’s telling you he’s being taken from you. He’s being ripped away from you just like your parents wanted and you blame them for a moment as tears of sorrow turn into tears of rage. Then it shifts again and you blame God –if he exists- and you curse him for what he’s doing. Then you blame yourself for not being able to save him. Now you sit there, with your head in your hands, weak from the sudden rush of emotions that just ran through you and you sob. Please don’t take him from me, don’t take him, please.” |
