Finding My Purpose

[LEON ACE PEARL]

I thought I had the world finally given to me in winning over Eliza. God, she was beautiful, but then most women were to me. I wasn’t about to admit to her that there was something that could even possibly remotely pull my attention from her. But then again, that was going to be hard to come across seeing as I rarely went out aside from maybe to go see Eliza. I liked being inside my own house, I pretty much had almost everything I needed. Or so I thought. I wasn’t aware that there was something much bigger out there, something much....more for me to experience. Something that subconsciously I desired more than anything else.

But I was happy with Eliza, wasn’t I? Yes, I know she was against marriage, but I wanted to be with her. I got her a ring, nothing overly fancy, just a little token of my love to wear around her neck for all I cared. Just a little something. And my world crumbled. I just wanted to understand. And I couldn’t even get that. I felt dead as she stormed out. I turned back to the alcohol. I knew I shouldn’t. But I did. I couldn’t even explain to my fiends what happened, I wasn’t even sure. Then to complicate things the town was basically blown up, and I got injured, but I didn’t care about that. I had to make sure that Eliza was okay. I don’t even know why. I found out she was fine, and I still drown myself in alcohol every night.

I turned to alcohol to get past the hurt, to...hell I don’t know, kill myself maybe? I had nothing to live for yet again. It was just like last time. I had a fiance, and we were expecting a kid....and then she killed our baby, and our relationship effectively. I wasn’t the same after that. I know I turned hard to alcohol then, and almost died from it, and that was when I had to look and see that I had Eliza, and great friends, Lorali, Josh, Blue....though the latter never came to visit me. I still had something to live for, something that was still here, living and breathing. I gave up the alcohol after a disagreement with Eliza. I couldn’t lose her, how foolish I was.

When I lost her, my world shattered. Even with Lorali, Josh and Blue, and then of course Lottie, how could I forget her. I got her and Josh together, and everyday I couldn’t help smiling thinking of that. I can be a persistent little bugger. Being persistent paid off. They finally admitted their feelings. But I wasn’t so lucky, for it was not long after that I lost mine, that I had been so persistent for. I fell back to the alcohol. Josh knew right away there was something wrong. I was sober with Eliza, and then to drink, he knew it was bad....and he was right. I couldn’t even explain to him what happened. I still knew not.

Now, its all outta order, but heck with it. Its my life, my story, I’ll tell it how I please. I was a different Leon, but no one pushed me really for anything, except Lory, I had a godbaby after all. And I stayed sober until my visits were over. I never would admit to having an alcohol problem, but I know deep down that its part of what started killing my liver. But I cared not. I had to have an escape from the pain, and alcohol worked as good as anything, better than some the other stupid shit I tried doing in my life. I was often in chat, just to be somewhere and talk with someone other than myself. That was when I saw her. That angelic Japanese face. I felt compelled to talk to her. More than anyone else ever before.

I found myself slowly being pulled in by this gorgeous flower. And what was so funny about it, I had no desire for alcohol after talking to her, I wanted nothing more than to talk to her more, to see her among her flower garden. Though I knew she would stand out, and sure enough she did. I couldn’t stop looking, and I knew she knew she had my full attention. I wasn’t even desiring more than a friendship at this point. I just was in awe of how I never noticed this blooming flower before. So I have a slight infatuation with those of Japanese decent. I can’t help it....there’s just something about them that calls to me like a siren called to lost sailors....before they died. So that’s probably not the best metaphor. But it gets the point across.

I wanted more. I was feeling like I needed her around just to breath. Its so complicated to explain. Very few I think ever experience that instant attraction. I thought I had that with Eliza, but holy hell, this was blowing that out of the water. And Ayumi was a damn good cook, I always loved Japanese food, and to have a beautiful Japanese woman cooking, and feeding me.....it was heaven. It wouldn’t take much more to push me over the edge. If there was ever an edge to be pushed over. I introduced her, granted through chat to Josh and Lottie. I think they approve, or at least like her, we need to have a little get together, get everyone together in person.

But before I could set one up, I found my flower to be sick. I felt torn to be honest. It honestly hurt to hear that my flower was doing anything but blooming. I went to side and seriously felt my heartbreak to see her like that and alone. I easily scooped her up and took her back to my house, where we stayed in my bed for days, me just holding her, wishing with every breath for her to get better, that I could take the sickness from her. Then after what seemed an eternity, she was getting better. She even asked for food. I was never so happy to hear her voice again. I wanted to jump for joy, but I didn’t. I remained where I was, like the good boyfriend, cuddling her while I called for food to be made and brought to her.

Then even more a miracle, she got even better the next day. I had stepped out from my room for a moment, the exact reason, I can’t even remember. I only remember running to my room, to find my petite flower standing there in one of my shirts. It was like Christmas came early, I couldn’t contain myself anymore, and it seemed she didn’t want me to either. Afterwards we laid on the bed, just relaxing, but I was having problems as she was flopped on me, and I was just chilling in chat. I shifted, trying to get comfortable again, to get Ayumi to snuggle closer, and I growled....I couldn’t help it. I am a growler, and to hear her reply with her own little sound, well, it was over again. I barely remember carrying her to the hottub.

I’m a bad boy. Going to spank me for being me, for being happy? You might not like the sight you’ll walk into. Just saying.....I have a flower to tend to. See everyone on the flipside!

Hey TAGGED, this one's for you. It's WORDCOUNT words long, and my character is wearing something like OUTFITLINKHERE. Its YOUR NOTES. The thread template was made by GREEN EGGS AND SAM! of caution 2.0 and the lyrics in the text are from nevershoutnever.